No wonder Americans are hated overseas! One of the secret service officers involved in the Columbia secret service sex scandal attempted to offer a local prostitute just $30 for her services when her normal fees are $150! What’s wrong with this guy anyway? You know he draws a decent paycheck, yet he wants to go whore-in’ around on the cheap in some foreign land, only because he thinks that he can get away with it. Wow, how demeaning that must be to some street prostitute who will probably die of AIDS because she works so hard having sex with tourists in order to support her drug habits, only to have some cheap American tourist John come along who wants to offer her cut-rate wages because he thinks he can get away with that in some foreign land. That’s really degrading.

All I can say is that Americans sure know how to disgrace themselves abroad when whore-in’ around when they can’t even behave like a proper John. I don’t care if they’re just purchasing oral sex or a full 69. The fact of the matter is that Americans need to better behave themselves when they’re acting like sex tourists around the world. Treating foreign drug-whores without the full respect due their profession is outrageous.

Sometimes I’m not very proud of my country. Rather than pay full price, Americans don’t always need to get things whore-sale. Columbia isn’t Tijuana, where it’s completely normal for wealthy American tourists to offer poor and hungry people little or nothing for the things they sell to survive.

And you just know that any secret service agent who isn’t even a good John, can’t be much of a good agent providing security either. Abraham Lincoln should know. His own protection agent decided to leave his post at the Ford Theater and go across the street and drink at the pub instead, leaving a clear path for that racist and pro-slavery actor, John Wilkes Booth, to commit his horrible crime that changed history. Being a piss-poor protector cost Lincoln his life. That should be the first lesson that any new protection and security agent should be taught. Being a big time screw-up causes nothing but problems. Any no good security agent needs to be sent packing.