Catholic Priest Has Bondage Toy Malfunction

A Springfield, Illinois Roman Catholic priest, Father Tom Donovan, had to call 911 after having a mishap with some bondage toys that he was playing with. The priest was playing with a ball gag and a pair of handcuffs, and couldn’t get the handcuffs off. No word on why the priest needed to own such sexual toys meant to restrain someone during sexual activity or sadomasochistic activity.

This Roman Catholic Diocese is controlled By Bishop Thomas J. Paprocki, a staunch religious conservative who has publicly opposed gay marriage bills in the state legislature, and inferred that voting for Democrats could put “the eternal salvation of your own soul in serious jeopardy”.

It seems that Bishop Paprocki has an interesting priest in his diocese. Father Donovan asked for a leave from his parish after the incident, which Paprocki granted. Donovan has also been an Air Force chaplain as well, so maybe he’s making a little use of “don’t ask, don’t tell” time right about now.

Obviously, a serious bondage toy malfunction. Don’t you just hate it when those bondage toys malfunction. Darn cheap imports, anyway! The priest can’t come to the phone right now, he’s all tied up!

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