I’m starting to question my reality. You know when you have one of those days where everything is going along fine, and then you hear something so shocking, so utterly unbelievable that your world comes crashing down around you? Well today is not one of those days.
According to reports, our beloved made-in-heaven television couple—Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez—have gone their separate ways. Two years too late. I never saw this coming more than two years ago. I really thought that they had that real love that I only ever see on reality shows. I didn’t even watch their season of “The Bachelorette” but I didn’t have to. Their love was that strong. I could feel it in my living room when they showed up on the most recent season of “The Bachelorette” to give dating and relationship advice to horrible Ashley. They made it seem so easy. So effortless. If these two beautiful kids could show up on a reality television show and dispense timeless advice about lasting love, then how could their love not last? I’m starting to think this show and the Apollo moon landings were both scripted.
Personally, I’m not upset that they were actually spending time dating each other. This is vitally important when you meet someone and are engaged six weeks later and there is a camera shoved in your face the whole time. There are just things you need to find out about each other over time that you just can’t find out during four solo dates on television. Do you have a job? Is that your real hair? Will you murder me in my sleep and feed me to wild boar? All important questions to ask. I was never pushing for them to get married like the big Bachelor machine was. I just want the way hot Latin dude and the mousy-faced chick to have lots of blonde and tan babies. The world needs more of those.
Since they seemed so perfect together, I’m going to hazard a couple of guesses as to why things never worked out. Note: these are not the actual reasons they broke up, but I’m sure one of these has got to be close to the truth.