Big Time Sissyass Stuff: BYU Bans Top Basketball Star For Having Sex

BYU that bastion of fine Mormonist education, has decided to ban a top basketball player only days into the huge March Madness basketball season because he had premarital sex with a girlfriend. The school claims that this is to uphold some sort of “honor code”. Honor code? Isn’t this the same cult church where members once disguised themselves as Paiute Indians and participated in the Mountain Meadows Massacre of about 120 settlers, only leaving just 17 children under the age of 7 alive? Maybe, according to Mormonist reasoning leaving a few small children alive ranked as “honor” of some sort?

Interestingly, the suspension only came after BYU Cougars player Brandon Davies admitted having sex with his girlfriend who attends college in Arizona, and is an athlete herself. Why someone thinks that it’s school business that he’s having sex sounds big time sissyass enough in itself. It shouldn’t be any darn business of any school who’s having sex with who. That’s private stuff. Yet, Davies felt compelled to share it with school officials. Oh, great. That was real smart.

At any rate, BYU seems more interested in upholding some wacky church rules than winning basketball games it seems. And, at 6 foot 9 Brandon Davies found out about this the hard way. He was one of the team’s stars leading the team to a #3 ranking. Now he’s off the team, and any potential future career in the NBA could be put on cold ice as well. Not only were his dreams trash-canned by the school, but the BYU team got trash-canned by New Mexico in a whopping 82-64 loss, only proving the school’s stupidity here. The same conduct code also bans the BYU kids from drinking coffee or drinks with caffeine. One Pepsi or Coke could have got the kid kicked off the sports team as well. Every church attempts to ban something it seems, so Mormons long ago randomly picked coffee to ban. Why not pick something almost no one wants, like let’s say Pauly Shore movies?

BYU’s “honor code” also bans beards as well. Well, that would be real bullshit to any real biker guys right there. You can’t look real badass looking like some accountant on a mean looking chopper.

Sleeveless shirts are another no-no at BYU. Yet, I always thought that’s pretty much a given what those BYU basketball uniforms look like, isn’t it? Even their enforcement of rules is rather selective here, isn’t it. Yet, strangely that sacred temple underwear that Mormons wear to get into Heaven look strangely like a basketball uniform circa late 1888 style.

The BYU honor code also bans unclean language. Oh, you’re shittin’ me here! What no expletives when you accidentally drop something heavy on your toes like an anvil?

Bright color clothes are banned as well, maybe because BYU thinks they might look a little bit too Hollywood gay or something?

And hey, remember how Fred Flintstone belonged to that Grand Order Of Water Buffaloes lodge, which has their own secret rituals. Well, guess what? Mormons have a secret handshake they learn so they gain entrance into Heaven. It’s like Free Masonry gone wild here passed off as religion!

So you have to ask whether a religious cult church operated school that bans Pepsi soda has gained anything at all here. Sponsors and donors to the colleges are often attracted by winning sports teams. Does a school that deliberately throws games deserve their financial support?

Well, here’s one collective Big Time Sissyass Award to BYU for throwing an important game just to uphold some funky old church rules. Mormon religion founder Joseph Smith and other major church founders were well known for not always keeping church rules very well themselves. Yet, the school decided to screw up their own March Madness hopes and any good publicity they could have by going to extremes and suspending a star player for what could have been handled as a minor internal college matter. If that isn’t the Webster Dictionary definition of the Big Time Sissyass stuff, then nothing is my friend. BYU, you well earned your award here.

BTW, strangely the loss of BYU to New Mexico is a sort of rough poetic justice for the suspension of New Mexico’s Elizabeth Lambert for unsportsmanlike like conduct (read rough shoving) during a women’s soccer game in 2009. Maybe, this is the nature of college sports.

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  • Nate

    Wow! I’m shocked. The level of ignorance on display in this article is so profound I’m holding back the tears. I used to write papers like this in third grade until they required us to actually do research and back up my statements with evidence. This article is so rittled with holes I don’t even know where to begin.

  • Bradlee

    Only a week late, but that’s ok. It probably took you a week to realize there was such thing as honor.

  • Anne Ominous

    Get over yourself. Granted that these standards may seem out of date for a modern university, but trying to connect BYU today to something that happened 150 years ago is kind of like blaming Georgia State University for the civil war.

    This is the first article I have read on WhizBangPop, and considering the content, it will likely be the last.

  • NorCalSurfer999

    Too funny! It’s no wonder the ‘writer’ (really?) forgot to sign his name — who would want to admit owning such reporting drivel. I stopped counting the straw man arguments, falsehoods, and other fallacies half-way through. Just come out and say it…this story is your sad personal excuse to count the ways you H8 those mormons. Anyway, thanks for the laugh (at your expense)!

  • Kevinlsmith

    The author of this article obviously knows nothing about honor.

  • Mike

    Dear Nameless Blogger (understandable considering the content of this post)

    It appears some fact checking is in order here. (Someone has to save you from yourself)

    Mountain Meadows Massacre:
    Those proven to have participated were disciplined by the church. One man (John D. Lee) after being excommunicated from the church was tried by the federal government and executed. If you want to be informed go find this book:

    Walker, Ronald W., Turley, Richard E. and Leonard, Glen M. Massacre at Mountain Meadows: An American Tragedy, New York, N.Y.: Oxford University Press, 2008.

    Nameless wrote:
    “Why someone thinks that it’s school business that he’s having sex sounds big time (expletive deleted) enough in itself. It shouldn’t be any darn business of any school who’s having sex with who. That’s private stuff. Yet, Davies felt compared to share it with school officials. Oh, great. That was real smart.”

    Brandon Davies voluntarily signed an agreement to abide by the BYU honor code. Most of the honor code is pretty much an expansion of the ten commandments, (which you probably also think are old fashioned and outmoded). Davies had the courage and integrity to go and tell someone he had broken his agreement. ( I would much rather have him as my business partner than you.)

    Much more to talk about but I believe in manageable posts so well cover more in the next posts

  • Mike

    Nameless wrote:
    “At any rate, BYU seems more interested in upholding some wacky church rules than winning basketball games it seems.

    Mike says:
    Nameless, dude you need to proofread! You used “seems” twice. BYU doesn’t just SEEM to be more interested in upholding the Honor Code, they are absolutely committed to upholding the Honor Code. I find it amusing in a sad way that you find the idea of abstaining from sex before marriage “wacky”. Is it really “wacky” to not have to worry about STD’s paternity suits, rape charges, unwanted pregnancies and using others as sex objects instead of human beings? Sounds pretty normal and sensible to me.

    Nameless:
    “And, at 6 foot 9 Brandon Davies found out about this the hard way. He was one of the team’s stars leading the team to a #3 ranking. Now he’s off the team, and any potential future career in the NBA could be put on cold ice as well.”

    Mike:
    Brandon knew the consequences. This was no surprise. Several other prominent athletes had previously been treated the same. Considering the conduct of NBA players I somehow don’t think that would be a problem.

    Nameless:
    “Not only were his dreams trash-canned by the school, but the BYU team got trash-canned by New Mexico in a whopping 82-64 loss, only proving the school’s stupidity here.”

    Mike:
    I know it is hard for you to get this, but building character is worth more than every basketball game ever played.

    Nameless:
    “The same conduct code also bans the BYU kids from drinking coffee or drinks with caffeine. One Pepsi or Coke could have got the kid kicked off the sports team as well. Every church attempts to ban something it seems, so Mormons long ago randomly picked coffee to ban. Why not pick something almost no one wants, like let’s say Pauly Shore movies?

    Mike:
    Nope. Drinking coke will not get you kicked out of a sports team or BYU. But if I promised not to drink it, I wouldn’t. It’s called integrity. Mormons in 1833 received the “Word of Wisdom” see http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/89?lang=eng
    If you look at most modern science as far as diet and health is concerned you will find that the Mormon health code in the “Word of Wisdom” was ahead of its time.
    Besides, why do I need caffeine to wake up? I’m better off without it, and it sure saves me lots of money I would otherwise spend at Starbucks. Pauly Shore movies are probably on the list too if they are R rated.

  • Mike

    Nameless:
    BYU’s “honor code” also bans beards as well.

    Mike: Yep. So what?

    Nameless:
    Sleeveless shirts are another no-no at BYU. Yet, I always thought that’s pretty much a given what those BYU basketball uniforms look like, isn’t it? Even their enforcement of rules is rather selective here, isn’t it.”

    Mike:
    (question mark after the last “isn’t it” dude.)
    If I play basketball I wear a uniform. I don’t wear it to class.
    If I swim I wear a swimsuit. I don’t wear the swimsuit to class.
    I don’t see a problem here.

    Nameless:
    Yet, strangely that sacred temple underwear that Mormons wear to get into Heaven look strangely like a basketball uniform circa late 1888 style.

    Mike:
    I bet if I took some photos of you at various times in your week I could find something to mock as well but what’s the point. I’m sure that you also find the way Nuns, Priests and Buddhist monks dress hilarious as well. The garment is an outward sign of an inward promise. Just curious do you believe in keeping promises?

    Nameless:
    The BYU honor code also bans unclean language.

    Mike: “Profanity: The attempt of a feeble mind to express itself forcefully.”

    Nameless:
    Bright color clothes are banned as well, maybe because BYU thinks they might look a little bit too Hollywood gay or something?

    Mike:
    Wrong. Bright colors are just fine with the Code.

    Nameless:
    And hey, remember how Fred Flintstone belonged to that Grand Order Of Water Buffaloes lodge, which has their own secret rituals. Well, guess what? Mormons have a secret handshake they learn so they gain entrance into Heaven. It’s like Free Masonry gone wild here passed off as religion!

    Mike:
    So did the Egyptians thousands of years ago. So what? Some of the “rituals” at the Superbowl will look pretty weird to people 100 years down the road.

    Nameless:
    So you have to ask whether a religious cult church operated school that bans Pepsi soda has gained anything at all here. Sponsors and donors to the colleges are often attracted by winning sports teams. Does a school that deliberately throws games deserve their financial support?

    Mike:
    We got people like you to write silly lightweight blogs that point up how vacuous criticizing honor and integrity can be. BYU donors are attracted by the Honor Code. If Donors don’t believe in keeping promises, how could we trust them to follow through on their financial support?

    Nameless:
    Well, here’s one collective Big Time (expletive deleted) Award to BYU for throwing an important game just to uphold some funky old church rules.

    Mike:
    As a BYU alum I am please to accept your award. It tells me that there are still people in the world who don’t cave to pressure to win at any cost.

    Nameless:
    Mormon religion founder Joseph Smith and other major church founders were well known for not always keeping church rules very well themselves.

    Mike:
    Any documentation you would like to attach here would be helpful. Otherwise I just have your word for it. and based on how you view rules as “wacky” we know what that it worth.

    Nameless:
    “Yet, the school decided to screw up their own March Madness hopes and any good publicity they could have by going to extremes and suspending a star player for what could have been handled as a minor internal college matter. If that isn’t the Webster Dictionary definition of the Big Time (expletive deleted) stuff, then nothing is my friend. BYU, you well earned your award here.

    Mike:
    Let’s restate that shall we? Yet the school, who plainly stated decades before that honor is more important than athletics, stuck to their stated belief, even at the cost of potential NCAA tournament revenue and despite the protests of folks like Nameless. Breaking a commitment is not a “minor” matter. Our system of business, law and politics are based on making and keeping agreements. they are called contracts. Go ahead, Nameless, go break your payment agreement at the Bank and see how “minor” they think it is. The real world has consequences. (I checked the Webster Dictionary–they didn’t have a definition of “Big Time (expletive deleted) stuff. Maybe you have a different edition.)

    Nameless:
    BTW, strangely the loss of BYU to New Mexico is a sort of rough poetic justice for the suspension of New Mexico’s Elizabeth Lambert for unsportsmanlike like conduct (read rough shoving) during a women’s soccer game in 2009. Maybe, this is the nature of college sports.

    Mike:
    Maybe you are a UNM alum? Here is the link to Lambert’s behavior that got her suspended. Looks a bit more hostile than “rough shoving” to me. (Maybe some hair pulling when play was paused?)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvEobeNfGcc