Cannes was made for moments like this. Jessica Simpson on the red carpet commanding the attention of the press while she explains the plot of her next film. Which, if you ask me, is Private Benjamin with a less appealing lead. It's called Major Movie Star. Clever. Not.

Jessica explains:

"It's basically this girl who's a major movie star, who wants to be more respected because she always gets the blonde bimbo parts," Simpson explained on the red carpet outside the May 18 party for her aboard Cannes' Budweiser Select Yacht. "She doesn't get the roles she wants and ends up walking in on her costar, who is her boyfriend, and her hairdresser! And she figures she doesn't want this life anymore. So she joins the Marines."