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Kevin Costner exposed

kevin-costner.jpg


It was just another routine story on Kevin Costner exposing himself to a masseuse, and then engaged in a "sex act." Sure, get picture from the internets, make snarky joke, get on with life. But that's just where the story began.

On my way to fame and fortune (and a story involving Kevin Costner's happy place), I found this image at the Defamer:


I can tell you're intrigued, as I was. Honest to God, I've never spent so much time looking at another man's crotch. Now, before you think I've turned to the dark side, lemme tell ya, I was just trying to figure out what the heck I was supposed to be looking at.

The back-story to this is another website sent in this Not Safe For Work picture from QueerClick. The picture's not bad, it's just all the explicit gay porn ads that might get you in trouble...

Honestly, I kinda see something that might resemble something that would make me burn with forbidden man-on-man lust, or it could just be his loose fit boxers. But if it was his bulging manliness, where's Lil' Kev here or here?

The point I'm making is, I've finally figured out what's going on. As revenge for making Waterworld, a gypsy cursed Kevin by replacing his penis with a hydra. So, he wasn't really performing a sex act, he was defending the masseuse from being eaten by the monster in his pants.

And with that, your honor, the defense rests.

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Comments (1)

Rent any movie Kevin Costne... (Below threshold)
cslouis:

Rent any movie Kevin Costner has been in and take a look. You'll see it.


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