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Pop! Exclusive: Bears on a Sub

bearsonasubcover.jpg


Wizbang Pop! received an anonymous tip* from an industry insider about the latest developments in the Snakes on a Plane saga. As it turns out, the producers are already putting together details of the sequel, with a working title of Bears on a Sub:

I recently was sent some early promotional material from the sequel to the soon-to-be-released thriller Snakes on a Plane, starring Samuel L. Jackson. Apparently the studio is so confident the film will be a success that they are already filming a follow-up.

Bears on a Sub continues the nail-biting, bladder-voiding suspense of Snakes on a Plane, only this time, a pack of rampaging polar bears tears shit up on the USS Honolulu nuclear submarine!

Samuel L. Jackson returns as FBI Agent Nelville Flynn, who is transporting a diabolical eco-terrorist prisoner aboard a nuclear sub to Greenland for a completely legal secret trial.

Unfortunately the madman has coated the hull of the sub with polar bear pheromones, and when the sub comes up for air, three rutting polar bears attack!

bearmap.jpg


Now, these super-predators are loose onboard the Honolulu, stalking the crew and eating their faces and groins. Masters of camouflage, the bears pick off their prey one by one and it is very scary because think about it, man - what would be worse than getting trapped inside a submarine with polar bears?

From the material I received, they are rushing production to get the movie out by Summer 2007.

*This might actually just be a blog post parody, and not a real movie. Just keep that in mind when you're planning on suing somebody for leaking trade secrets.

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Comments (5)

They've been in contact wit... (Below threshold)

They've been in contact with my bears. It's the real deal.

Hilarious. I can't wait fo... (Below threshold)
mantis:

Hilarious. I can't wait for Squids on a bus!

Geez, Mac, your anonymous s... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Geez, Mac, your anonymous sources SUCK. Either that, or the producers just don't give a RIP for reality.

1) The Honolulu is an ATTACK submarine. It doesn't have any BALLISTIC missiles.

2) The diagram shows a aquared-off hull. Every US sub for decades has had a teardrop-shaped hull.

Eh, who cares... it'll be a smash hit anyway.

J.

Jay,Jay, Jay - It doesn't ... (Below threshold)
Lokki:

Jay,Jay, Jay - It doesn't matter if the details are all wrong... I KNOW the story is true. I just got fax'd confirmation from a Kinko's in Texas. So, Mr. Doubter - Who would you 'Rather' believe? Me or your own stinkin' eyes?

No, seriously, who is the w... (Below threshold)
6pence:

No, seriously, who is the woman in pink?


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