From GQ's mystery correspondent - presumably a female, most likely Jessica Cutler... Ten (and a half) reasons why Republicans are - yes, Republicans - are the best party in bed.
Some highlights...
1. NO CONSCIENCE!A Republican man will never whine in the middle of the night - let alone in the middle of screwing you - about the girlfriend/wife/whatever he is "devastating" by sleeping with you. He just does it. It's all about him - he needs to be the best you ever had, and that can be a good thing if your getting off is contingent on his. He doesn't even stay for breakfast. (Though if you do make him breakfast, he is eternally grateful and will go down on you for another several hours.) One word: pancakes!
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
Republicans are happy to watch Jon Stewart with you. They think he's a riot. They don't parse every word he says in an effort to figure out if "The Huffington Post" will approve. They just laugh, pour another cocktail, and decide upon which couch they will f**k your brains out after the show.6. SIZE
It is absolutely, positively, 100 percent true that Republicans have bigger dicks. Just ask Lynne Cheney. (Dick is the Liam Neeson of Washington!)7. EFFICIENCY
Republicans are much more likely to whip their dicks out during the cab ride back from dinner. (This is not an urban myth.) They are also more inclined to get started in the elevator, pin you against a wall, do you on the kitchen sink, wherever. Democrats bring jammies, spend at least twenty minutes prior to "sex time" doing God knows f**king what in the bathroom, and then emerge with a big grin that says: "After all I did for you supporting equal pay and abortion rights, the least you could do is make love to me." Democrats always think you owe them. Republicans, because they've never done a goddamn thing for you, have no such delusions.
See total lack of conscience isn't always a bad thing...
The Elephant In The Bedroom - [GQ]
Dick Cheney's Shock And Awe - [Wizbang]
Republicans assert dominance in the bedroom - [The Situation with Tucker Carlson]
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Comments (3)
Aren't Republicans suppose ... (Below threshold)1. Posted by ss | March 27, 2006 10:53 PM | Score: -2 (2 votes cast)
Aren't Republicans suppose to be evangelical Christians. All these comments go against the teachings of Jesus Christ. I am embarrassed about being a Republican and Christian if these comments are true about conservatives. I did not have sex until I was married to my wife and would never dream of haveing relations in an elevator. All these actions just mentioned are very sinful and I hope you take this post down if you want to keep considering your website conservative commentery. I personally will stop reading your website untill the post is removed and an apology is made for damaging the image of this family centered republican.
1. Posted by ss | March 27, 2006 10:53 PM |
Score: -2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 27, 2006 22:53
2. Posted by jk | March 28, 2006 9:22 AM | Score: -1 (1 votes cast)
Dear ss:
Get a life.
2. Posted by jk | March 28, 2006 9:22 AM |
Score: -1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 28, 2006 09:22
3. Posted by alex | April 3, 2006 3:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Go ahead and follow the Lynn Cheney link in the #6 "Size" and check out the photo.
Yeah, thats impressive if you ladies like to suck on colostomy bags.
You women who politicize sex, well you deserve to spend you life on blogs.
3. Posted by alex | April 3, 2006 3:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 3, 2006 03:20