News Mash-up - Ferris Bueller Takes Off Edition (Wizbang Pop!)

What ever happened to Mr. Sarah Jessica Parker?

Statement by Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff on the Resignation of the Director of Operations

For Immediate Release
Office of the Press Secretary
Contact: 202-282-8010
March 2, 2006

General Matthew Broderick has announced his resignation as Director of the Operations Directorate for the Department of Homeland Security, effective March 31.

General Matthew Broderick has announced his resignation as Director of the Operations Directorate for the Department of Homeland Security, effective March 31. After more than 30 years of distinguished service in the Marine Corps, Matt answered the call to serve our nation yet again by building the Homeland Security Operations Center. Over the past three years, Matt made tremendous contributions to our homeland security, having planned and coordinated countless national security events and intra-agency activities. Most recently, he led the start-up of the Operations Directorate, established after the Second Stage Review. Matt worked tirelessly to ensure the integration of the department, always demonstrating coolness in crisis and energy and integrity in the execution of his duties, under the most difficult circumstances.

I will miss him personally and professionally. I recognize the great sacrifice he and his family have made because of the extraordinary demands of his position, and I fully support his decision to spend more time with his family. On behalf of a grateful nation, I thank Matt for his remarkable service. He has left an indelible mark on the department and on our country.

OK, this seemed a lot funnier conceptually than it actually turned out. As means of atonement I give you the tribute site Save Ferris!, and links to Mia Sara... naked of course (NSFW).