Pitt, Jolie Fight, But Jen's the Jerk? (Wizbang Pop!)

I'm sorry, but Angelina Jolie scares the crap out of me. Maybe its the lips that look like they've been stuck to a superpowered pool drain, or the fact that she looks as though she'd suck you dry of blood if you ever fell asleep within a mile of her, or whether its just those nasty Donatella Versace jersey dresses she keeps showing up in despite the obvious fact that jersey dresses went out with Michael Kors 1993 line. Any way you slice it, I wouldn't want to be in a fight with her (and no Mac, especially not half-naked in a pool full of Jell-o).

But Brad Pitts in for a spat over the proposed wedding date and the birth of the precious spawn:

The birth location is said to have sparked a string of heated arguments between the twosome, whose first biological child is due in May. Said an insider: "Brad and Angelina have been at odds over the birth place for the past month. They'd originally planned to have the baby at Cedar Sinai Medical Center in L.A. That's where they've booked a birthing room and Angelina's chief obstetrician/ gynecologist and general practice doctors are located.

She wants to have the baby in that haven of futuristic medicine, France, where she and the Pitt famiily are planning on living out the rest of their publicity stunt. Rightfully, Brad is fearing for the life of his beloved, and their new child.

Of course, it may not be from the threat of serious infection.

It could be from the wrath of Ms. Ansiton. Shes about ready to dump his blonde booty and the price of their joinly owned Malibu mansion, and cut and run before the headlines trumpet the arrival of the newest member of the clan. Not that anyone would take her in because, apparently, Jennifer Aniston is that girl in high school who convinced you that you totally needed to get drunk at Homecoming to be cool:

Jennifer Aniston probably wishes she'd been nicer to fellow actress Nancy Balbirer, who shared a West Village apartment with her in the late 1980s.

Then maybe Balbirer wouldn't have ratted her out the other night at Joe's Pub, where an audience of actors and writers shrieked with laughter during an evening of readings to mark the paperback release of "The Underminer: Or, the Best Friend Who Casually Destroys Your Life."

Don't say I didn't warn you Vince Vaughn. You too may have to put chicken cutlets in your bra.

Comments (3)

I call shenanigans on the "... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Kevin | February 27, 2006 9:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Kevin:

I call shenanigans on the "icing the nipples" bit... If there's one person in Hollywood who doesn't need the extra advantage of the cold it's "Jane." Those headlights are always on.